Work & Ambition
The Thermostat War
For two years I logged the temperature in our conference room before every meeting. I have the data. I have the chart. I have the receipts. And the room is still set for him.
Read →Current issue of Typical Female.
It was 104° in Phoenix the day Maya P., 46, finally told her doctor about the hot flashes. She had been waking at 3 AM for nine months. She had been keeping a spreadsheet. The doctor — younger, kind, distracted — looked at the spreadsheet for thirty seconds and said: "Most women your age get a little warm sometimes. Are you drinking enough water?"
Maya had told two friends about that exchange before she told her husband. The friends had laughed in the specific way women laugh when something is too familiar to be funny. The husband had said: "Did you actually show her the spreadsheet?"
For nineteen years I sat in conference rooms in a cardigan and accepted that my body was the problem. Then I read the 1966 thermostat study. Forty-year-old man, 154 pounds, business suit. He is dead. The setting he picked has outlived him by sixty years and is currently making the entire fifth floor of my building uninhabitable for women between 38 and 60. We are 41% of the staff. Take off the jacket. I am not the one running cold. You are the one running cold. The room is set for him. Take. Off. The. Jacket.
I get up to use the bathroom at 4 AM and the room is 64 degrees and there is a fan pointed at the bed at full speed and my wife is sleeping like she is on vacation. I am wearing pajama pants and a long-sleeve shirt and socks and I am still cold. I love this woman more than anyone on earth and I would walk through fire for her and I will not say a word about the thermostat. I will, however, get a second comforter. And a hat. I am writing this in a hat.
Work & Ambition
For two years I logged the temperature in our conference room before every meeting. I have the data. I have the chart. I have the receipts. And the room is still set for him.
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Motherhood
My daughter was born July 14. By August she had heat rash in three folds I did not know a body could have. We did not have air conditioning. I nursed her in a wet sports bra for si...
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Mental Health
In the meeting I made a clear, sourced, three-sentence objection. The senior partner said: "Let’s not get heated about this." Nobody else in the room was heated. I was the heat.
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Body & Physicality
I have a list of symptoms I tell my doctor and a list I do not. The list I do not tell is longer. I learned which list a symptom went on the third time I got the answer "have you t...
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Relationships
We have negotiated the thermostat in this bedroom 4,127 times. I know because we have been married 19 years and we sleep next to each other every night and I am the one who logs ev...
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Identity & Culture
There was one oscillating fan in our apartment in Karachi in the summers. It pointed at my father. My mother cooked at the gas range eight feet from it. I was nine when I noticed.
Read →Unfiltered submissions on living with female stereotypes.
One question. Four ages. No editing.
“When did you first realize you were running hot — and someone close to you didn’t believe it?”
“A boyfriend in college told me my anger was scary. I had been calm. He had been late. I am 22 and I have already learned the word for what he was doing.”
“I told my mother I was always cold growing up. She told me I was wrong. I was the warmest one in the house. She had decided I was cold the day I was born.”
“I asked my husband, in 2003, if I could turn the AC down. He said sure. He turned it back up an hour later. We never had the second conversation. We have not had it yet, twenty-three years later.”
“I realized I was running hot in 1989. I told nobody. I waited it out. It took eleven years. Nobody believed me about anything I felt in those eleven years. I would like them back.”
“What do you cool yourself with that no one taught you to use?”